Eton College timetable

You know what the saddest thing about this post is?

It’s that some people reading this will assume it’s satirical so might be an idea to place an edit into the post saying “Not Satire” etc.
Massive respect for publishing this leaked copy of a typical teenage Tory twats day.


A day of Eton College’s timetable for sixth-formers has been leaked.

8-30: Markets review: Pupils review yesterday’s stock exchange and discuss their investments.  The pupil who had the most lucrative day receives ten hectares of land stolen from an indigenous farmer in Africa, Asia or South America.

9-30: English literature: Uproarious laughter abounds as pupils recite their favourite passages from the novels of Charles Dickens.

10-10: Geography: Arable land in the Cayman Islands.

11-00: Psychology: As part of the Deception course guest speaker and alumnus David Cameron describes skills needed to evade, obfuscate and lie including a demonstration accompanied by alumnus Douglas Murray role-playing as a journalist.

12-15: Lunch, followed by a nap.

1-00: Business skills (tax): Practical lesson in which pupils, as owners of imaginary businesses in a mock scenario, use skills learnt earlier in the course to avoid as much tax as possible in…

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